Here are a few things that are rolling around in my brain:
Accumulation and accretion, with the world just getting more and more full of things. And then, the passing on, too.
Desire becoming reality, and other things also becoming real – with my growing perfume collection, I am sampling many scents, and sometimes feel as though there’s something real there. When I taste wine, I often get very physical words coming to my mind – wine for me can be round, soft, or tall. I’m not getting that the same way with perfumes, but I think that if I smell for long enough I’ll be able to articulate things a bit more. I’ve been enjoying the strangeness of them, the leather and sweat and smoke. My favorites are the ones that surprise you over and over again, making you think that there’s a corner somewhere close by that you’ll turn and find something real. The one I’m wearing right now, though – Patou 1000 – I lean in to get a deeper draw, and it smells like someone peed on me. Weird. I can’t get enough from 5 inches out, but right up close, whew! Yet, I’m going to put a bit more on before I go out. Wherever that corner is, it’s a strange place.
Plus, trying on all these perfumes is probably just a little bit of an intensification to that who am I and what am I doing here feeling that I haven’t been able to shake, even when for a little while, I thought I might have that answer. Today I was useless, and far from figuring out any answers, I just avoided the question altogether. Thought I was making some progress, but still pretty lost on the whole subject of what to put the majority of my energy into. I can’t help but think, though, that at some point this question will be answered, and that a bit of psychic reworking never hurt anyone in the long run. Watching a lot of the videos at the99percent.com has/hasn’t helped.
The conversations that we have with ourselves – I saw Moon last night, and that little phrase kept rattling around in my head. It’s a must see, and I felt like it was perfectly resolved, despite what many of the reviewers said at the time. It made me very sad, but then, I also felt very appreciative afterward. I imagine that’s a part of what I liked about A Serious Man, too.
I’m heading out, and already running late. I’ve been thinking of several of these things for a while, now, though, so had to get a little ramble out. No doubt you’ll hear more about perfumes, accretion, and life courses soon, whether or not you wanted to.
Oh, and props to the President for a sweet speech on Wednesday, and for finally having what NYT liked to the Prime Minister’s Question Time, (the reference to which seems to have disappeared from this article) which I have always hoped would happen in our own country.