Rachel Auerbach

designing buildings that connect

Vermont Friends

Putting things out there

Work, Ponders, Architecture, Vermont Friends, Growing Up, OberlinRachel AuerbachComment

Warning: next three paragraphs deal with the intractable issues of work and social life.  For something actually interesting and new, skip to the photo.

I don’t know how long it’s going to last, but for quite some time to come, I think my main job is actually putting myself out there.  It’s actually been a lot of fun to put together the portfolio and teaser and resume…and I’m sure the cover letters will be fun in hindsight, too.  Now we come to the part where I actually send them all out, though, and that’s a whole other story.  I’m less than excited to send them into the abyss, to ask for jobs that don’t exist and to profess how wonderful I am to people who can’t really care.

I can’t help but feel a reflection of this work life issue in my personal life, too – I may know all sorts of people here, but I’ve yet to rebuild a group of friends of the sort I had in Oberlin, Vermont, or, in fact, that I pretty much developed here, pre-graduation.  Not to mention that there’s a good chance that I’ll move to a whole new place and actually have to make an even bigger effort towards friendship than I do here now.

I’ll admit, part of it is a problem of commitment.  I’m not sure where I want to move, not sure what I want to do, not sure who I want to spend my time with, so in some ways I’m not making a strong case to anyone, let alone myself.  Howard’s recommendation of actually writing out a five year plan or two seems like a great one.  I vaguely know where I’m going and what I’m doing, but defining things a bit more, while having an alternative plan, seems like a good way to stop faffing and actually move confidently towards doing the things that I want to do.  I feel like I’m back in high school with all this self definition and worrying about who I’ll be friends with.  Thought I was over all of that.

On another note, I saw this today:

Along with five other lamps, it’s part of an impressive graduation project, Light Movement, by Noam Bar Yohai.  Each of the lamps employs wood, elastic bands and heat-shrinking tubing, with metal components to weight them.  They are each adjustable because of the friction of the tubing, weight of the metal, tension of the elastic bands, or flexibility of the wood.  I think Yohai has done an excellent job of exploring this object as a series of mechanisms.  For me, they come to a pleasing level of refinement – they seem like abstracted models of joints: skeleton, sinew, muscle, and nerve poised before some action.  Tell me what you think, and perhaps, if you’re ambitious, compare and contrast with Moooi’s Brave New World lamp.

Returning, Moving On

Frisbee, Blogging, Growing Up, Vermont Friends, Grad School, Architecture, WorkRachel AuerbachComment

I’m going to write something because I’d really like to return to blogging, but I’m out of practice. At a point, life just got too complicated to tell about. It’s not that the plot was so convoluted, more that the characters all got a little out of hand. But, we’re beyond that now, and in fact, the plot has also straightened itself out quite a bit.

I am a Master now. Finishing grad school has been a bit anticlimactic. It was wonderful to have the celebration in June, and I do feel done, for real. However, I now feel the weight of the Internship Development Program (IDP) and licensure bearing down on me. I have a job, which I am very happy about both because the economy is bad enough that it’s rare for a recent grad to be offered a job, and because said job is actually interesting and closely related to what I want to do in the long run. However, I’m acutely aware that it’s not a job that can get me closer to actually being an architect, and it’s not a job of the type for which I have been preparing myself for the last three and a half years. So, despite enjoying it, I very much am continuing to wonder, and occasionally actually work towards figuring out, what I will do next.

So, it’s portfolio making time.  It’s time to organize a game plan for applications, to get recommendations in line, and to feel a little untethered from the future, which, as you know, I like to have some grasp on.  All of that is fine: the portfolio is taking shape and I like where it’s going.  The rest I can deal with, and may even enjoy.  But, there’s one thing I’m really struggling with – where to be.  Theoretically, I’m likely to move when I get a job in an architecture firm.  My current plan is to first apply to the set of firms at which I would most like to work, which are primarily in cities on the west coast and in the UK.  Here’s the issue, though.  Rent runs out on the 15th of next month, and I’m not sure what to do at that point.  I will almost certainly not have another job – fine, because my current job will still exist through January.  But, do I move somewhere else in Eugene?  I can, but I’m starting to feel like I want to move on sooner, rather than later, and not move all of my stuff just to move it again.  I can’t really afford to move to one of the big west coast cities on my current salary, though, and that might also end up meaning that I move just to move again.  I could see going home, but what about all of my stuff?  Do I lighten my load of worldly possessions – can I afford to sell everything just to buy more things wherever I do settle next?  And the same goes for moving back to Vermont, which I would love to do, but where I am unlikely to find a job, probably would have to pay some rent (unlike Florida), and where I would be split between friends in Burlington, Brattleboro, and Great Barrington, Mass.  The reality there, too, is that I don’t know if any of those friends have the same spaces in their lives for me as I would like to imagine they do.  Could any of them live with me on their couch/in their kitchen for any significant amount of time?

The likely answer – stay in Eugene.  I’ll move soon enough to a new place, and in the mean time, didn’t I promise myself that I’d spend my time Being Here?

It’s one of those decisions that I keep coming back to, though.  One of those unresolved questions that niggles me throughout the day, in part because it is unresolvable. Since it will be resolved in the next month, because someone else is taking over my house, I guess I just have to live through the uncertainty.  Would that the plot were still twisting, not just aiming straight into the murk.

***

On an entirely different note, played at Spawnfest this weekend, which was very good – both fun frisbee and fun time partying/hanging out with the teammates/laughing at Vern Fonk and Bawls and playing 20 questions.  Excited to get into better shape, although somehow I keep missing my running dates and workout times.  We went 6-1, but unfortunately the point differentials on Saturday put us into the B-bracket, so we only took 9th (out of 34? teams).  Read a lot of the Huddle last night in an exited frenzy to get back to being really useful on the field.

letting it go too long

Blogging, Architecture, Politics, Oberlin, Grad School, Frisbee, Work, Good Ideas, Vermont Friends, FamilyRachel AuerbachComment

what do you get? way too much to actually write about.

Seeing Barak in Eugene, and being so inspired that you campaign for him for hours in the rain, snow, hail, and occasional sun. I hope I’ll write about him more once I get wireless in my…

New apartment that I moved into on Thursday and have gotten 90% organized in. Thanks to the fearless four – Renee, Jake, Truc, and Stacey – who made the move from old to new take just about four hours! Photos coming soon…

Which I didn’t take on either of my two trips to Portland this break. Trip number one, I visited Herman and Ruth, enjoyed the excellent okra stew and Herman’s amazing flatbread as well as his amazing dutch oven bread and the divine sheep/cow cheese that they shared with me. We went to Ikea and did several hours of shopping…

Which also happened somehow on trip number two, after I picked up Emily from the train station and we had an excellent lunch at Besaws, but before we drove back to Eugene along the coast, which made me wish I had gone to the coast a long time ago, and made me promise myself I’d go again soon…

but which has the fault of not always having a strong cell signal, so that a call with Stefan was cut short. We’ve made a date to re-call, though, so I’ll surely get to hear his news, as I did…

when Joe Little called out of the blue. He’s moving to D.C., so I’ll have one less reason to visit Chicago, but one more reason to visit D.C. Which I don’t have a great desire to do right now considering…

The current state of our government, and if you didn’t, like me, obsessively listen to NPR this last week, you should at least hear ;this week’s This American Life.

Anyway, this term I’m taking it easy. Just doing a practicum with Gary Moye Architect;, taking Roman Architecture and Architectural Precidents 2.0, teaching Architectural Contexts, organizing and attending the HOPES conference, and taking a short class on Graphic Statics. It will give me enough time to play some frisbee, I hope, and celebrate Ruth’s retirement, I hope, and maybe even visit Oberlin for a reunion…

And maybe, if I’m lucky, I can read some novels this semester. I hope.

Flix and Pics

Family, Movies, Vermont Friends, OberlinRachel AuerbachComment

A little update from my corner of the world: you can now be my friend.

Oh, you say, I wasn’t before? Not like now. Now, we can share our Netflix queues!

http://www.netflix.com/BeMyFriend/P7iQZYMc8ejtfHix4RGP

Isn’t that exciting. You can see that I have 9 foreign films, a documentary, and a drama. Guess I’ll be watching my movies alone.

Actually, as sarcastic as I may sound about how we can achieve this new level of friendship, I’m really excited about Netflix. Can’t wait to get my first movie, and I’ll probably end up moving things around a bit. I was trying to decide how much of The UP Series I might put on my queue…

Speaking of friends, I had a good New Years as far as that arena goes. I seriously debated driving down to San Francisco from Portland to visit with a bunch of friends from Oberlin, but then as the day approached I backed down. I wanted to see those folks, but I didn’t want to drive all day just for one night of partying. Turned out New Years Eve was a bit of a wash – I enjoyed it despite having a small crew, but had gotten rather excited about the prospect of a few extra folks to join in the carousing and was a bit disappointed when they didn’t show. But, I sucked it up and called them the next day to invite them to lunch, and started a great tradition. Or, rather, I continued a great tradition. It turned out that everyone did want to get together, so I whipped up a little good luck lunch, complete with Hoppin’ John, Money Cabbage (although I left out the coins because I wasn’t sure of the proper sanitization practices) and Mac and Cheese, the glorified baked kind. Ok, the Mac and Cheesemight not be a traditional good luck food, but it went well with the meal, and it gave me a good excuse to use the recipe that Debbie baked in Florida from Smitten Kitchen.

In the end, with all the food, we ended up eating at about 3:30, talking for several hours afterward, then playing a game of Taboo. Guests left post 10 with most of the dishes unwashed. I’d say a very successful event!

I turned sick after that, and am sort of not quite better but not much worse. Just a head cold, but something I’d like to kick before the semester starts. On the upside, house is much cleaner for all of the staying in it I’ve been doing.

Yes, you can assume that I did have a lovely Christmas (or, shall I say, lovely Christmases) and that the end of the Florida trip went well – no problems in the airport, all my new items fit into my luggage, and they’ll let me come back next time. And, in addition, I had a lovely few days in Portland visiting my cousins Herman and Ruth and actually getting to spend some time with them.  Ryan visited briefly on his way between a gig in Seattle and going home to the Bay Area, and the second night we went out to the Doug Fir, which was, as Ray would say, a trip. Who knew that kitsch log cabins could be so hip and relaxing all at the same time. I’d have guessed one or the other, but thought the two attributes to be mutually exclusive in that setting. Shows you what I know.

So, one last weekend before my nose is re-glued to the proverbial grindstone. Will I squeeze in all of the relaxing/dealing with real life that I want to before I am once again robbed of my free time?

A short list, as a bonus. Movies I think it would be worthwhile to own on DVD:

Afterlife
Dancer in the Dark
Triplets of Belleville
Amelie (although everyone else does)
Babe
The Straight Story.

Maybe you have something to recommend for me via Netflix…

PPS, I added more photos to my Flickr page. More to come this weekend.

Lucky Dog

Grad School, Growing Up, Vermont Friends, Music, PondersRachel AuerbachComment

Hey, it all comes together -
I just read that with 2006 being the year of the dog in Chinese zodiac, I was bound to have a rough year, since I am a dog. Evidently, when your year comes up, you’re in conflict with the god of ominous, so you have an unlucky year unless you take precautions in the first 15 days of the year. So, watch out every 12 years for your unlucky year…

Actually, the year went well overall for me, despite the rough patch this last semester. After all, I had a fantastic time in Vermont, got into grad school, drove safely across the country, settled into life in a new part of the world, and made lots of new friends. This time of the year you remember how many good old friends you have, too. Last night Ryan called, and I’ve recently talked to Hans, Joe, Stefan, and Tad. The list of folks to call is even longer, but I can’t help but feel warm and happy about getting a bit of time to catch up with friends. I guess it’s my fault for not being on MySpace, but I feel a bit old fashioned about that whole thing with the unreality aspect of it all, plus I think I’m a bit squeamish about being too accessible.

Which leads me to a recent two-part revelation: 1) I just want everyone to love me. Therefore, when boys ask me out or make a move, I get nervous that if I go out with them, other people won’t be able to love me as much (an irrational fear, I know). 2) I just really like to spend time by myself and not be accountable to anyone else for that time. That means that when boys ask me out or make a move, I get nervous that they are the type of person who will want to spend significant amounts of time with me and have me think about how I ought to spend time with them.

These two qualities lie at the base of my perpetual singledom, and they’re in my power to change. What a nice Christmas present to self. Yay for overanalysing situations. We’ll see what this revelation means for my future love life…

Ok, and the other topic I wanted to cover today: the rough draft of my playlist.

  1. Wayside (Back in Time) – Gillian Welch – Soul Journey
  2. Passing Afternoon – Iron and Wine – Our Endless Numbered Days
  3. Pink and Blue – The Mountain Goats – All Hail West Texas
  4. Swansea – Joanna Newsom – The Milk-Eyed Mender
  5. The Stranger Song – Leonard Cohen – Field Commander Cohen Tour 1979
  6. Girl in the War – Josh Ritter – The Animal Years
  7. Ship out on the Sea – The Be Good Tanyas – Chinatown
  8. Homesick – Kings of Convenience – Riot on an Empty Street
  9. Bed is for Sleeping – Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy – Superwolf 
  10. Whiskey in the Jar – Belle and Sebastian – 
  11. Santa Claus (Instrumental) – Bill Monroe – Bluegrass 1959-1969
  12. Train, Train – Dolly Parton – The Grass is Blue
  13. Just to See You Smile – Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy – More Reverie
  14. Wagon Wheel – Old Crow Medicine Show – O.C.M.S

It’s my Countrified playlist, and I’m in the process of cutting down my Citified playlist, which is more ambient/indie. I was going for a mix of traditional and indie folk, but it’s got a bit of tweaking before it’s ready to run – particularly whether I’ll keep “Just to See You Smile” or trade it out for another Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy song.

Coming soon: the final cut of the two volume set of musics that I like very much, plus, reflections on the last semester, and maybe even the whole year.

Always an Adventure

Grad School, Vermont Friends, FamilyRachel AuerbachComment

It’s 7:00 in Orlando, and I’m going to slip in a quick post before dinner.

This trip’s excitement was leaving my driver’s licence at the bank in Oregon on Friday, and therefore going through the Airport security on Saturday without an ID.  I suppose that this happens to other people, since they had a whole procedure in which I stepped into a space-age puffer box and had air shot at me, then walked through the metal detectors, then had pretty much everything I owned swiped down with a little chemical detector wand.  All very exciting – I mean it – because it meant that I got to fly home on time despite being the girl most likely to leave her head if it wasn’t attached.  I called the bank, though, and I’m in negotiations to get them to send me my licence while I’m here, so that on the way back I don’t have to get puffed.

I bought a book in Chicago, on my layover, and I’ve been enjoying it.  I had almost finished my new Harper’s and I needed something to ensure that I wouldn’t be out of reading material before I hit the ground.  The book is The Memory Keeper’s Daughter, and I’ll say it again, although I’ve said it before: it’s just so good to read a novel.  It’s getting my head out of architecture mode, just a little, although I’m still thinking about the studio project and dreaming about strange buildings.

A highlight – I spoke with Tad and Stefan on Sunday night, got the news from Brattleboro and shared a bit of my news.  Two hours just barely scratches the surface, but no matter how short, talking with great friends makes everything seem better.  I promised them I would link to my pitiful little website which I plan to dismantle and replace as soon as grades are in.  So much for getting out of architecture mode – that’s one of the many projects I have in mind for this break, including looking into Cinema 4D, drawing and diagramming a lot, and voraciously reading whatever theory I can come across.

Dinner is coming up, so I’m going to run off.  I’ve been adding expensive and wonderful things to my wish list, so feel free to peruse my unreasonable demands…

The Story and the Saga

Growing Up, Vermont FriendsRachel AuerbachComment

First, woo hoo for four comments on “Brief Interlude.” Now I see why people do the whole reposting thing – it’s exciting to get other people reading what you write.  Thanks to Mark for posting his pics; Thanks to Kate, who doesn’t have any idea who I am and is perhaps my first real visitor to the site [Kate, I played at Oberlin college in Ohio, I now go to the University of Oregon and play with a club team, Denial.  I sure do know Bucky, I captained her freshman year!]; Thanks to Erica for promising to call, I’m looking forward to hearing your summer adventures and smiling at serendipity.

Which I need to do because I’ve been on a downward slope since leaving Vermont (for the visit, not since June).  I’ll start with the story of Vermont, because it’s far more fun than the saga since.

Warning: This is a long post

THE STORY

I arrived after a long, but quite pleasant day of travel to find Seth waiting for me at the train station – a lovely surprise and much better than climbing the steep mile to his house with my two heavy bags.  We got back to the house, watched a bit of Deadwood, and made a lasagna in a cast iron skillet while Stefan mowed the lawn and Colin went out to find Mark N.  The evening was relatively quiet, preparing for the yardsale; Jeff joined us midway with freshly baked pies, and Colin stayed out at the bars all evening after finding the house empty during one of our errands.

We woke up early Saturday morning and went through the familiar ritual of bringing out everything to sell, and then trying to convince people that they’d want to buy the things that had been stored in the less than lovely shed all summer long.  Towards the afternoon we went to the little league field to play a few rounds of double disc court, for which I had an uninterrupted loosing streak.  Post DDC, we began grilling and partying, which as previously stated went smashingly well in the majority, with my usually gloomy iPod actually serving up a good deal of the dance party.

Sunday morning I had my pleasant brief interlude at the computer, went to Mocha Joe’s with Noah, then went back with the whole crowd of folks that had stayed at South Main.  As the day progressed, folks floated away, until we drove Andy down to Springfield to catch his train.  We ate pizza at the Red Rose, a Springfield institution, then headed to Amherst to watch The Illusionist, then grabbed drinks first at the Amherst Brewing Company, then at the Moan and Dove.  Having lived close to there for a year, it was great to finally get to the Moan and Dove, which has very expensive imports of all sorts.  I had a yummy Belgian Farmhouse beer, and in the process of deciding, tried a beer that tasted like white wine.  Very nice to sit around the table with the boys drinking tasty drinks, never want that sort of moment to end.

But it does, and other good moments come. After some house clean up Monday morning, I visited Building Green for Monday staff lunch, where I picked up my new copy of Your Green Home, the book that Alex was writing while I worked there. It’s beautiful, and at least on preliminary glance looked to be chock full of good stuff. All the hard work I did on the bibliography will soon be up online, and the Islandwood case study is about to be posted. The office was full of energy and late summer sunlight. I stayed so long that I had to hurry down the hill to catch up with Tori, my former housemate. I picked up my mail and toured her new gardens, and then we went up to Pisgah, where we climbed up for the view to Monadnock, then down for a chilly skinny dip in Kilburn Pond.

Tuesday we loaded up a truck full of furniture and carted it to Leyden, Mass, the idyllic town where Colin’s parents live. Then Colin and Stefan and I went to the strawbale house Colin worked on this summer and got the first layer of plaster done in all the places it was still missing. The homeowners came back about a third of the way through our time there, and David, the husband/father came out and worked with us. I didn’t get to see Stefan’s strawbale, but it was cool to see how confident and knowledgable they both are about building these days. They’re applying to the Yestermorrow internship for this winter, and I personally think they’d both do very well there. We headed home, watched some Youtube, including my favorite video, Chris Bliss juggling to the end of Abbey Road. Noah came just as we were watching it to pick me up for bowling, which was great fun. The two of us shared a lane next to the whole Putney crowd, and I actually bowled very well, with two games in the 130’s and one 181! After bowling I went to the rennovated Weathervane with Mariah and Emyli for a drink, and then went home and crashed, exhausted.

Wednesday I finally got around to business, after another trip to Leyden. I arranged my hotel for Albany, closed my bank account, withdrew my shares from the coop, mailed myself some of the stuff I acquired on the trip, picked up a couple of cute new shirts, and visited Karamo. At the end of my errands I went to Mocha Joe’s and ran into Mark B, and we got to talk for a half hour before the boys came by. Then the four of us headed to Top of the Hill Grill, the local gourmet grill shack, for a tasty dinner, since the South Main kitchen was stored in Leyden. We hurried back to the house afterwards just in time for George to pick me up to go to Albany in his Prius.

There’s your extended summary of my fantastic Vermont trip, the kind of trip that makes you just really want to stay where you are. And this is where the Story turns into the Saga.

THE SAGA

When I checked into the Howard Johnson, late at night and a little befuddled, I scheduled my cab for the morning, headed out to my room, and got ready for bed. Early Thursday morning I awoke, got ready, checked out and caught my cab. But, I didn’t catch my plane, because I had scheduled my cab an hour late in my readiness for bed the night before. I saw it leave from the gate, turned, and wondered what to do. Luckily, Southwest is awesome and immediately rescheduled my flight through BWI, then Salt Lake, to Portland. So I called Herman to tell him of the change, forgetting that it was 4:00 AM in Portland.

So I had perhaps the longest day of travel in the whole trip, during which I caught a cold, lost my very expensive sunglasses, and had my luggage delayed. Boy was I glad to see Ruth and eat some of Herman’s tasty spinach pies that night. 

The next morning when I picked up my luggage I got caught in accident traffic, but then got to Eugene before two. I immediately started to move and look for furniture. I headed to Springfield at three, and headed home by 4:30 having bought a mattress.

Saturday morning I continued moving, hit up about 15 yard sales, and had no luck finding reasonable furniture for my room. The queen sized mattress took up almost the whole room, and I just wanted cheap, repaintable furniture. I felt sick and alone – my computer couldn’t access the internet at my new house (we just got it going tonight), my phone had gone dead and I realized the charger was in Vermont. So I went to Best Buy, Target (where I squished my finger in the bathroom door), World Market, several “real” furniture stores, and finally home, without having made any progress. I searched online, ate a pitiful dinner, and went to bed.

This morning I went to the Flea Market, then went back to World Market and Target, again mostly unsuccessfully. So I spent a lot of money on organic groceries, went home, and got down to work on the IKEA website. After I meticulously found a set of furniture that would outfit my room for $250, all of which was available online and which matched reasonably well, I checked out, just to find that the shipping and handling would cost another $250. So, I decided that I’d be heading to the Seattle IKEA tomorrow.

So, now I’ll go to sleep since I’ll be driving 4.5 hours up and back to Seattle tomorrow, and shopping til I drop in between. But then, hopefully everything will be better when I return some order to my life, so I think it will be worth it…

Brief Interlude

Vermont Friends, MoviesRachel AuerbachComment

It’s Sunday morning, before 8 o’clock, and everyone’s still sleeping at South Main. The house is an absolute mess, and I sort of want to start cleaning up, but I kind of don’t, so I’m writing a few thoughts.

The party last night was fantastic: apple pie, a lot of dancing, and great face to face time with people I very much wanted to see. Only a few moments of heartbreak in the otherwise Very Fun Time.

We also did a good job yesterday with the yard sale, selling two couches, a bed, a trampoline, a chair or two, and a lot of books. Hopefully we’ll sell a few more books today, but it looks like we’ll be missing the early morning crowd.

I saw Ian’s comment and just wanted to say that when I first read The Diamond Age, it totally changed the way I thought. The idea of such a complete work of art is so seductive, and part of the reason that I’m going to school for architecture is my hopes that I can build something half as interesting as the Primer. Also, just to note that what Stevenson describes with the new computer system is the exact way that bit-torrents work, and that the drummers really bring a new meaning to the term collective unconscious. It was sad to finish the book so quickly, but I think it’s one of the few books that I have that I read again and again – I should start keeping track, but I’d say that’s at least the third time I’ve read it.

In other media, the movies just keep getting better. I walked out of Little Miss Sunshine thinking that it trumped all of the movies I saw in Florida; I walked out of Half Nelson thinking that it trumped Little Miss Sunshine. I think Half Nelson hit home for me in part because Ryan Gosling reminded me so much of Mike Levin, one of my favorite teachers in high school (although that in no way implies that Mike was a heavy drug user). I agree with the critics that both Gosling and Shareeka Epps were excellent. As always, more thoughts on both of those films, but I think that, in fact, writing about movies isn’t my strong suit, so I’m going to bow gracefully out of that pursuit.

I am going to do something which I’ve never done before, however, and that’s point you, dear reader, to an interesting piece of news.  This article was brought to my attention by Degs. No surprise, really, but fun to see something that we in the game already knew to be true. I wonder if this will lead to a whole new kind of rankings game in which colleges try to support their Frisbee teams in order to boost their appearance to the populous…worse things could happen.

So, I made it to Vermont, enjoyed my very chill time in Massachusetts, and I’ll probably write up a little summary at some point, with a big influx of pictures on Flickr since I won’t be uploading anything else till then. Right now I feel like I have so much to do here, so many people to see and spend time with, that I’m really regretting that time is short here. But, I’m hoping that the short time will bring major intensity.

Speaking of which, I’m now really excited to go back to school in the fall. Yay, that was the idea of going away for vacation, and it worked!

 

September 10, 2006Replies 4

 

 

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Being Here

Wherein the author explores her surroundings, both physical and mental. 302627282925232422212018191711121314151610 123456789Oct » « AugSEPTEMBER 2006MTWTFSS

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What a day, what a day

Family, Growing Up, Vermont FriendsRachel AuerbachComment

Actually, a couple of days.  Let’s go back, back to…Tuesday.  I stayed up late on Monday night, watching movies On Demand.  Tuesday morning I woke up and decided that it was the perfect moment to begin shaving again.  Since it’s been about a year since I last shaved, and I haven’t shaved regularly since high school, this is an undertaking for me.  I got prepared and then took my shower, which was at least half an hour of bending over in the hot water, focusing on my lower legs.  They’re lovely, let me tell you.  Well, upon exiting the shower I felt faint, and stumbled over to my bed, where I collapsed.  I worked hard not to fall asleep, and managed to get myself upright once again, angling for downstairs and a glass of O.J. to get my blood sugar back up.  Well, I didn’t make it.  I fainted right outside of my bathroom, collapsing in a heap on the floor.  I was lucky enough to not hit anything and to come to almost instantly, as my stepmother yelled to ask if I was o.k.  I yelled back that no, everything was not o.k., and she ran up to help me back up.  We made it down half of the stairs before she set me down, telling me that I was actually gray, and went to get me that glass of O.J.  Almost the instant that I started to drink it, I felt better again, but it was really quite a scare that the combination of staying up late, being quite dehydrated from the previous day, and taking a long hot shower could cause me to faint.

After my fainting spell I ate breakfast, read for a while, and then accompanied my dad to Winnie Palmer Hospital, where he works, to see the new building.  He worked closely with the architect, Jonathan Bailey, during the design of the building, and as an architecture student I wanted to check out the building.  It’s a beautiful building, not what you’d think of if you imagined “Hospital.”  It looks more like a hotel, with a lovely open waiting area and café seating on the first floor, and semi-private rooms throughout.  It’s truly state of the art, and I think they did an excellent job of balancing the requirements of the building for privacy and maneuverability.  The concept of the panopticon, that dreadfully unpleasant 19th century (?) prison scheme, is transformed and reapplied here, so that the centralized nurses stations in the various pods of the building have sightlines, which means that doctors and nurses can quickly see where their attention should be focused.  The greatest drawback of the building that I noticed was that wayfinding would be difficult for an inexperienced user: the building is made up of clusters of circular pods, and looks uniform throughout.  There are few obvious landmarks and the color scheme is a constant black, beige, and white.  There are subtle indications of location and there is signage to direct you, but the building isn’t inherently clear.  Still, it’s a lovely building, and I think that as the staff gets used to it, they’ll really begin to value its many great features.

We returned home after the visit to the hospital, and shortly before we headed out for dinner, my mom called to tell me that our dog, Max, had died the previous night.  Max was 13 years old, and was sort of an old curmudgeon, but despite his character flaws, he was so loveable.  He’d bark at anything and wouldn’t quiet down when you asked him to, he’d freak out when a storm came, or when a tall male would approach him, and he’d dig in the backyard, and I spent most of my time being upset with and annoyed at him.  But I’m so sad he’s gone.  He was my quintessential pet, the pet for me against whom all other pets will be measured.  I had other pets before him and have already had other pets since, but he’s Max, my archetypical pet.

Anyways, I tried (and succeeded for the most part) not to cry at the news, since it could have really set me off, considering that it happened to be a year, to the day, since my stepgrandfather had died.  Thankfully, we were heading out to dinner with my stepaunt and stepgrandmother, so I put Max’s death out of mind and just enjoyed the dinner, despite the fact that conversation somehow came around to the various dogs in the family.  I made it through dinner, went home, and got down to packing.

Throughout the day on Tuesday, we watched as Hurricane Ernesto traveled across Cuba and made landfall in Florida, trying to determine whether my plane would be able to leave the next morning.  I was lucky to find that the signs posted at the Southwest terminals on Wednesday morning stated that planes leaving at 8:50 and later would be delayed; my flight departed at 8:10.  I’m not sure that they did actually delay the other planes, since the reports of the day that I received said that it was mostly dry and that the storm was no worse than any other storm, but I’m glad I didn’t have to find out.

I spent pretty much the whole of Wednesday traveling.  My flight was uneventful, the way I like it, and then I waited an hour at the
Albany airport for the bus to the bus station.  There, I waited three and a half hours for the bus to Great Barrington.  That wait was less than pleasant, but the bus ride itself was actually rather nice.  I decided to stop reading, since I was going through my book much too quickly, and instead, I just looked at the passing landscape and thought about life a bit.  I pondered how Oberlin orientation was going and made a note to check in with Caitlin and Anna before they began trying to co-captain the Preying Manti.  I thought a bit about the previous day’s adventures, and about the four feature films that I’ve watched so far this break (Match Point, The Lord of War, Supersize Me, and My Summer of Love).  I got excited about visiting my Grandparents.  

But, the sort of revelation that I had pertained to the upcoming
Vermont visit.  It struck me that with the going away party for the
South Main gang, and just the fact that I’ll be there towards the end of summer, I imagine the visit will feel like the end of summer camp.  You know that time when you’re staying up late at night, going through these rituals of trying to get the most out of being with another human that you are particularly enamored of?  When you’re trying to get the last drop of a place, trying to suck that last little bit of marrow out of that particular part of your life?  Except that while I imagine that will be the emotional setting of the situation, I can also see the distinct possibility that I will in fact be on the outside of the rituals.  In my mind’s eye I can see this plate glass wall dividing me from those moments of deep experience; after all, I’ve been away for the past three months, and since it’s summer in Vermont, that counts for a lot, since everyone has come out of hibernation.  I’ll do my best to make sure that those mental pictures don’t play out that way in reality, in part by making this trip full of new things, not just replays of old times, but at least I’m prepared for the possibility of that lonesome feeling of being the outsider.

As a counterpoint to all those thoughts, however, I just want to say that I really do like being in this part of the world.  The mountains are about the right size for me, about the right distance apart, and there are lots and lots of trees.  There are lovely old houses, and the sky is blue.  Particularly in Brattleboro, people are comfortable with one another, and there’s a lot going on at the small scale.  I know why it was hard to leave here, and why I thought I might end up returning.  I think that this trip is confirming for me that it’s a real possibility that I would move back to Vermont at some point in my life.  The similarity between Wales and Vermont also still pleases me (Back story: I wanted to visit Wales, inexplicably, for many years while I was growing up, and finally went in 2003 when I was studying abroad in London.  It was my first real adventure totally alone in the world for just over a week, and I walked around the countryside just absorbing it and pondering life.  It was a fantastic and formative experience).

Of course, as always, there’s more to tell – of today’s stroll around Great Barrington, where I ran into Emily and arranged to tentatively get together with her on Saturday, and where I tried on a fabulous and fabulously expensive sweater by “Amiee G;” of last night’s conversation with Grandpa about the merits of thinking and the wonder of life; of how I can’t get enough of the Diamond Age – there’s always more.  But for now I’ll get going and spare you from this grandiloquent mood I’m in.  Hooray for making it through such interesting times with such grace and flair.

Study Break

Frisbee, Grad School, Vermont Friends, Ponders, Family, ArchitectureRachel AuerbachComment

Taking a quick break from writing a paper to say hello to myself, remember that I am a real person, not just an automaton that goes from task to task, doing whatever she is told.

Actually, I’m quite enjoying writing the paper – the one about the Glasgow School of Art – as I did a sizable amount of research and got a feeling of actually being there. Strange, though, that I know how different it must be to visit than to look at photos and imagine. It’s a good exercise, though, because it’s fairly analogous to the design process. Yes, I make models, but a fair bit of what I do is sit and look at what I’ve drawn and imagine the reality it implies. Each drawing brings me a step closer to what that reality might be like.

Drawings become like notes on the imagined places in my head (in fact we have a book called Visual Notes which I recommend, and want to get more thoroughly familiar with, but which addresses more the notation of actual real places). Yesterday, I did just go outside and sit with my eyes closed, imagining that I was approaching the site of my Cube House (the third part of the compound we’ve been designing). I felt kind of dorky, but it worked. I’d become familiar enough with my rough plans and sections and my sketch model that I could start imagining the places that they enclosed, complete with patterns of light and material choices. Pretty cool!

The drawing class we had was very helpful, and perfectly timed to make that envisioning exercise totally worth the slight embarrassment I felt. They told us how to trace over pictures to get perspective shots of an imagined building. It’s sort of like a collage, you just take the lines you want and then add the rest from your brain or from another underlay of a different photo. I made some very convincing drawings of my buildng, and called it a day.

This whole thing was in part inspired by Mackintosh’s moves on the facade of the Glasgow School of Art, and by that building in general. I do hope that I always have a history class to feed me inspiration! I’m planning to really start a scrapbook sometime soon…

Speaking of inspiration, I bought plane tickets for a trip home to Florida, then up to visit Grandparents in Massachusetts and friends in Vermont. The South Main gang will be on the verge of moving out of their house by the time I head their way, so I should be in for another lovely, melancholy saying good-bye party. The trip as a whole has been inspiring me to keep plugging away – I’m so close to being done with my first semester! I’ll finally have time to change addresses and close my old bank account! 

Also, I’m heading to Kleinman, a tournament in Portland, this weekend, which is my main inspiration for trying to finish my paper tonight. We all know how much work one gets done at frisbee tournaments.

Also, I just added a link to Practical Action, the British group that works to get appropriate technologies out there, in use. Check out the gravity ropeway on their front page. All my designs should be so elegant.

So, I was thinking that I’m not feeling challenged enough by the school, but then, I was thinking harder, because that’s what Rachels do best, and I realized that I need to meet the challenges they are giving me head-on, and then I can see how I feel from there. Basically, that means no more whining about anything, ever, and the resoluteness to stand up for what I believe to be true and right, coupled with the intelligence to know when I haven’t got a clue and the flexibility to hear and enact valuable changes to my opinion.

Doesn’t that sound like a set of traits that everyone would be better off displaying?

Monday, it's my fun day

Road Trip, Work, Vermont FriendsRachel Auerbach1 Comment

My last day of work at BuildingGreen arrived, and with it, a real understanding of this upcoming trip. It was a full day of work, so much so that at 4:30, when we were supposed to head up the hill to Nadav’s house for my send-off party, Ethan and I were still working frantically to create a CD copy of all of my files. I didn’t finish my timesheet or my list of accomplishments, and I had yet to apprise Jess of all of the loose ends that I was leaving behind in the High Performance Buildings database. Anyway, up the hill we went, and the party was lovely. A little wine, a little cheese, and Jerelyn’s homemade sushi made tasty snacks. Most of the staff of BuildingGreen was able to make it. The terrific news of the party is that they gave me (drum roll please) five years of the BuildingGreen Suite, which will carry me back out of grad school! They also presented me with a copy of Greenspec, and a lovely soft organic cotton shirt with the New Orleans Principles from the U.S. Green Building Council. Jim gave me a black shirt for grad school, so that I wouldn’t look so out of place in all of my pastels. We generally had a lovely time talking, and I stayed up there until about seven – it was hard to tear away from those people who have become friends as well as workmates.

At seven, though, I went back down the hill and into town, where I met with Jacob (my traveling companion) and Mark N. We completed the game of Cranium Mark and his friends were playing, then headed up to Mark’s cabin in Marlboro. Unfortunately, by the time we got there, it was dark (and really quite cold), but even in the dark we could tell how amazing the place is. Mark’s sleeping cabin is on the side of a hill, and a little way down from his cabin are the main cabin, with the kitchen, and his “roommate’s” cabin. Just below those, there’s a canoe and a little dock on South Pond. After we ate dinner by kerosene lamp and talked until about midnight, all three of us went down to the pond and shoved off into the still water. We floated for a while, then paddled about under the stars. Mark was right about the place – I suggested that the proper word for the experience was spiritual.

I was dead tired by the end of the canoe ride, and just couldn’t imagine hiking back to the car, riding down the treacherous mountain road, and making the trip back to my own bed. Jake could, so he took the car in, leaving Mark and I to snuggle up for warmth in his brass bed. Snuggling was just what I needed; it got me properly warm, and put me at peace. Although I never sleep that well when I’m cuddling, I think I crave that body-to-body contact. It must release all kinds of endorphins.

The other benefit of staying out there was waking up in the morning to really be able to see the majestic pines, the slope of the hill, the silver water on the pond, and the rustic cabins. We ate a quick breakfast, then pushed off again, this time exploring a little marsh area at the edge of the pond. As we swung out canoe into the reeds, a huge great blue heron took off about 40 feet in front of us, flying straight across our line of sight. We both gasped.

We wrapped up our visit to the cabin, and I felt like I had gained something tangible. Down the bumpy road and back to town we went, and I set about packing up all of my stuff. It was truly a transition from the inspiring to the prosaic, but I carried some of that feeling about with me all day.

Packing was packing, by which I mean that I need not describe it, suffice it to say, I didn’t finish on Tuesday because it was slow going. But, I did quickly check in at work, so I got to finish my timesheet (very important!) and pass on my projects to Jess. By 5:45 when it was time to leave the house for Frisbee, I felt ready despite not being totally packed. Frisbee was mediocre, unfortunately, and I think it was mostly because I was so tired. At the end, everyone wanted to play more, which we did, but finally I demanded that if we were going to dinner we better go. Colin and I had planned to go to Top of the Hill Grill, which was closed at that point, so we ended up at the Marina. Becca, Seth, Stephan, Colin, and I went, and it was a good time, but I was mostly focused on eating, so I felt a bit like I was missing out on the goings on about the table. Once fed, though, I was much happier, and the rest of the evening was better by a considerable margin.

Seth, Stephan and I made a cameo appearance at bowling (where I couldn’t hit the spares to save my life) and then we all headed into town to Flat Street, where the whole gang was assembled. It felt like a private party, since we were pretty much the only crowd in there, and it was a great setting to say goodbye to everyone. People trickled out, we kept drinking, and at the end of the evening we were down to a band of five, goofing around with my camera phone and playing dirty games outside the bar. Stephan and Colin dropped me off at home. The goodbye wasn’t tearful, but when I got upstairs, my housemate had left a note on my computer to say goodbye that instantly had me sobbing. All of the avoided tears came out at once. I dragged myself to bed on my stripped down futon with one wool blanket and shivered through the night.